The Deli

i'm feeling a little bit like a fool right now. like a dum dum. like a hypocrite. like a big huge pooser. but somehow i find myself thankful for this rut. Its what i've been needing to pray like i need to.

"The more they are told that this wondrous Cause of God, this Revelation from the Most High, hath been made manifest to all mankind, and is waxing greater and stronger every day, the fiercer groweth the blaze of the fire in their hearts. The more they observe the indomitable strength, the sublime renunciation, the unwavering constancy of God's holy companions, who, by the aid of God, are growing nobler and more glorious every day, the deeper the dismay which ravageth their souls. In these days, prase to be God, the power of His Word hath obtained such ascendancy over men, that they dare breathe no word. Were they to encounter one of the companions of God who, if he could, would, freely and joyously, offer up ten thousand lives as a sacrifice for his Beloved, so great would be their fear, that they fortwith would profess their faith in Him, whilst privily they would vilify His name!"

O God,
Make me strong like Tahirih.

On my 19th birthday, Vahid called and asked if i wanted to hang out later maybe. It was a very sweet gesture. He invited some people from Tae Kwon Do to come over after class and he ordered some papa johns pizza which was very delicious. At tae kwon do someone said "Hey vahid, Adelia is going to be 20 next year. Have you thought about that?"
"Oh yeah, I guess that means I should start respecting her next year."
waa waa waaa. Or maybe you could start respecting me now. Either way the whole birthday party thing was a huge sign of affection.

So I tried on my cap and gown the other day. It's quite a lot bigger than i imagined and the cap is a lot more goofy looking than i imagined as well. Either way, the day I graduate will be full of joy and i will be quite happy no matter how poofy i look.

Lately I've been thinking that maybe I should have escaped to another country rather than spend six months at MCBI. I'm sure i will grow anywhere but I really want to grow somewhere else, somewhere new, somewhere where I don't know anyone, even if that means that I could have a very heart wrenching, miserably homesick experience for the entire duration of my service. I want to run away to a place that will restore me with some new confidence. I'm saying all this knowing deep down inside exactly where it is that I receive the kind of confidence that I'm looking for. All i need to do is pray, set aside all those anxieties, and the confidence will come. This is something i've already told myself many many times. I just can't help thinking...

good weekend

traffic
worth it
original plan
do everything in the world:
swim
cook
eat
office
tan
the way it went:
chap book assistance
shopping
awe struck at the colors in forever 21
twin shirts
twin pearls
twin shoes
twin socks
twin 40% discount
twin art vandalay at moes
twin crazy dancing
singing wicked
grey's anatomy
drink water like a whale
knocked out after second episode
good night prayers
friends o friends (for the first time....i started on exactly the right pitch)
sleep...
.....all in all.....
the weeekend was way too short...
but no worries...we'll do the rest of the things in the world this saturday

"For when the true lover and devoted friend reacheth to the presence of the Beloved, the sparkling beauty of the Loved One and the fire of the lover's heart will kindle a blaze and burn away all veils and wrappings. Yea, all he hath, from heart to skin, will be set aflame, so that nothng will remain save the Friend."
-Baha'u'llah, The Seven Valleys and the Four Valleys

crisis and victory...

they're so amazing together.

Spring Break is here. It's time to throw out all my old clothes. It's time for Naw Ruz. I want to make this last day of the fast the best. I really want to start off new tomorrow.
This past year has been a really good one. Exactly a year ago I said the Tablet of Ahmad with a really good friend, imploring for answers to my lacking of confidence. That was the first day of fasting that I actually thought about Abdu'l-Baha all day (asking Him what I should do). That was the first day that eating didn't matter at all.
Many answers to that prayer (and the many prayers that followed) have really manifested themselves in the past year. It was wonderful starting my new year off with a test like that. That test is pretty much never ending though. My confidence issues are still gnawing at me and essentially what brings me down every day. The answer I have realized is quite simple though. When I'm serving... Abdu'l-Baha's Words seem to ring even clearer: "Do not consider thyself to be insignificant by doubting what a handmaiden living behind a veil can do...With a firm heart, a steadfast step and an eloquent tongue arise to spread the Word of God..."

"Whenever I’m about to do something, I think 'would an idiot do that?' and if they would, I do not do that thing."
-Dwight Schrute

My family had our Ayyam-i-ha celebration at my house last night. I ordered Shirin a Dwight Schrute Bobble Head and gave her a letter that said "Dwight Schrute....IS COMING TO YOUR OFFICE!" She is very excited. I hope Dwight's bobbing head brings her laughter when it arrives at her office.

I've kinda had a lot of mood swings lately. I dunno if they're biological or what but i'm sorry to all those who encountered it.
Being in Nashville was pretty amazing. Highlights would definitly have to consist of Maxia's talk on faith, the home visit (which lasted roughly 2-3 hours), throwing myself in the grass on the parking lot, playing tweet tweet sound so sweet, praying, and sitting in the comforting social circle of some of my best friends in the world. Oh yes, and rock climbing. We went to this indoor climbing place and it was the first time i'd ever done it so i was kind of a baby at first....asking to come down when i hadn't really gone anywhere. I realized that the key to getting to the top is encouragement from your friends. They seem to have a better understanding of your potential than you do.

HOwever, I missed Oak dearly. We live a few states apart now, but we always manage to see each other a couple times a year by chance. Maybe he'll come by MCBI within the next six months:) Man i need another chirporactic adjustment, DANG! ....only kidding....kinda. Seriously though. He's gotta give the best brother hugs ever.

So the fast starts Friday. I think i'm ready this time. Most of Ayyam-i-ha so far i've had like no appetite at all. Watch me get my appetite back full throttle on friday. Hopefully not. BOOK FIVE STARTS SUNDAY!!!!!!!! I'M SO EXCITED!!!!!!!!!! its got to be the best way to start off the fast in the world.

i'm ready to fly tomorrow. so ready.


"O SON OF MAN!
For everything there is a sign. The sign of love is fortitude under My decree and patience under my trials."

It will be a lovely weekend.

"Let us put aside all thoughts of self; let us close our eyes to all on earth, let us neither make known our sufferings nor complain of our wrongs. Rather let us become oblivious of our own selves, and drinking down the wine of heavenly grace, let us cry out our joy, and lose ourselves in the beauty of the All-Glorious."
-Abdu'l-baha

"First of all, be ready to sacrifice your lives for one another, to prefer the general well-being to your personal well-being. Create relationships that nothing can shake; form an assembly that nothing can break up; have a mind that never ceases acquiring riches that nothing can destroy. If love did not exist, what of reality would remain? It is the fire of the love of God which renders man superior to the animal. Strengthen this superior force through which is attained all the progress in the world."
-Abdu'l-baha

"May everyone point to you and ask, 'Why are these people so happy?' I want you to be happy... to laugh, smile and rejoice in order that others may be made happy by you."
-Abdu'l-Baha

Either Fat Cat or Basil took a crap on my bed today....i'm very upset. I plan on doing an investigation. I'd like to debrief them both but i know they won't say anything. Whichever one of them eats more grass...cuz there was some grass in that crap.
For now....neither of them get any lovin....it better not have been Fat Cat.

I'm startin to feel less stressed now....fosho.
Book 5 was really refreshing, and thanks to Heather, I'm finally starting to get organized. It's amazing how much being organized makes you happy. Like really. I went from having three binders from papers in every class kinda stuffed in there, to one big binder, and let me tell you...it's been lovely...
...so is this quote i've been trying to memorize.

"By the fire of the Love of God the veil is burnt which separates us from the Heavenly Realities, and with clear vision we are enabled to struggle onward and upward, ever progressing in the paths of virtue and holiness, and becoming the means of light to the world."

This sunday me and vahid and Shirin are gonna have a 24 marathon...i'm psyched. I've been going crazy watching season 2 and 3 by myself. I still loved it....still screamed and went crazy by myself....can't believe the most amazing president in the world screwed up like that. dang. He was so AMAZING because he always told the TRUTH! ....and his one lie became his downfall....heartbreaking....maybe now former president palmer and Jack Bauer can go get a cup of coffee and chill or somethin dang. That probably won't happen. 24 is STRESS ONLY!

So....I still haven't cleaned my room yet. I have probably told at least ten people whenever i've talked to them on the phone or something that I was gonn get off and clean my room....yeah...still hasn't happened. one day....this entry doesn't really have any purpose except to share with everyone the quote i'm trying to memorize because I love it... I hope others love it toooo.

I'm not gonna lie.
I'm so stressed right now.
I can't wait for next weekend...continuation of Book 5.
I will have turned in my UF application and will be able to concentrate on Character Classes....finally.

In times like this where i'm "hanging on by a thread"...I try to think of how I should be grateful. I've been quite blessed lately. Seriously. I was telling Heidi this today and she replied with the sweetest thing in the world.
"you're blessed with more than you know....all those things about you that make you Adelia."
I've said this before but i'll say it again.
I have AMAZING friends and i'm so blessed to have them.
It's the thought of them that get me through the day, and bring my stress level down so that I can function.
There's really nothing to worry about when you think of all the love you recieve....that love that will still keep coming your way even if you 're a complete airhead and forget about little homework assignments and if you fail Unit Tests in AP literature.

"O SON OF MY HANDMAID!
Guidance hath ever been given by words, and now it is given by deeds. Every one must show forth deeds that are pure and holy, for words are the property of all alike, whereas such deeds as these belong only to Our loved ones. Strive then with heart and soul to distinguuish yourselves by your deeds. In this wise We counsel you in this holy and resplendent tablet."

- Baha'u'llah

O friend! We came upon a pure soil and sowed therein the seeds of true understanding. Let it now be seen what the rays of the sun will do--whether they will cause these seeds to wither or to grow. Say: Through the ascendancy of God, the All-Knowing, Incomparable, the Luminary of divine understanding hath, in this day, risen from behind the veil of the spirit, and the birds of every meadow are intoxicated with the wine of knowledge and exhilarated with the remembrance of the Friend. Well is it with them that discover and hasten unto Him!

Baha'u'llah -"The Tabernacle of Unity"

actually not pooh. more like my mango tea. and actually before that i spilled some of the smoothie my mother very cutely made me. I was basically a complete clutz today but thats not really anything new. so. important events of today besides that.
I've been writing poems! this is a big breakthrough for me. Suddenly i feel like i have so much material to write about which is lovely because i basically wrote a total of only two stories in the last year. yeah. stinky pinky. I'm on a role now though .truu.
So thats a picture of me and my brother last saturday when he got his 3rd dan. Now i have to bow to him every black belt class. He loves it. He's not gettin a "yes sir" out of me. NO sir!
I love him though. That busta.
I'm also in love with Shirin. She's seriously the most amazing sister in law i could ask for. But i decided i'm only gonna refer to her as a sister IN LAW if i have to to like clarify that my brother and sister didn't like marry eachother. lol. Because she's not like a sister in law. She's like a real sister.
I'm also in love with little juicy Kasmira and the new juicy blob Aliyah. I will be posting pictures of them soon. don't worry about that. I just havent gotten to uploading them onto my computer yet.
Today was a really good day though. Some of my family is coming over soon. Like my Grandpa and vahid and shirin and aunt mary and uncle John. We're having fish. I hate fish. oh well.
I think I'm most definitly going to TBI now. I'm psyched to see Brian...i still can't believe that busta joonam didnt go to project badi. He's like more crazy about it than anyone. AND HE'S COMING HOME TOMORROW! SO I'M DEFINTLY CALLING HIM! (this comment is obviously aimed towards Brian. Brian. Expect my call). Okay.
I think im gonna go clean. My car has like nasty pooh all over it. just kidding. Not pooh. smoothie and hot chocolate and trash and stuff. Gotta clean that up.
Okay.
Im out.
Peace

buh.
how do I start explaining a summer like this?
Okay. I'll start at the beginning.
So, the first weekend after we got out of school, I went to West Palm Beach for the assistants meeting, which was, as I remember it, really awesome. Before I walked in to the institute, I remember being upset about something, but studying the Five Year Plan for like 6 hours totally changed that, and all those little petty things that had been bothering me, suddenly vanished and weren't important. I hung out at the Cornwells and started reading comic books. the next day me and andy and justin went to islands of adventure and met layla and mike there....that was pretty fun. Then Justin and Andy came and hung out at my house the next day for my birthday. Then they departed. ANd that was the last time i saw mr. justin rosenberg and now missiles and rockets are flying at him and trying to kill him, but I'm quite certain I'll be seeing him again. He's pretty much protected with this mad crazy shield, made up of prayers from around the world and also...God's will. boooyaaaaaaaa!
Then my parents and lil bro left for Utah and I spent a week and a half at Vahid and Shirin's house. That was lovely and may possibly pass as my most lovely part of the summer....not the BEst.....the most lovely.
then i got andy to come and visit for a couple days before I went to Miami....that was also lovely. We saw the Break Up (haha..thats kinda funny huh) and NACHOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO Libre which I'm definitly planning on buying on DVD as soon as it comes out so i can learn all the words. Then we went to Miami. The drive down, as I remember it, was also pretty nice, even if I was in this wierd bobo mood (i'm really sorry for that by the way). The tae kwon do tournement went really well. I saw the video of the demonstration yesterday. The dance is a little scary and really embarrassing but the video makes it look not as embarrassing. Then Vahid got a concussion when he was sparring which was really scary. He couldn't remember his name or how old he was or where he lived for like an hour. If I had gotten kicked in the head like that, I probably
woulda died. It's probably a sign that I should NEVER SPAR, which sucks becasue I love sparring. Anyway, vahid was fine after a while. We went to dinner later with the Deans and Cocoa's and Smiths and one Cornwell.
And Dang....this is only like a quarter of my summer so far. this is taking too long.
So then I went to Utah with my family and saw some cool landscapes and went whitewater rafting and didnt take a shower for a long time wich was reallly BOBO but i survived.. We went camping in Colorado too. I love the mountains but i have this phobia for them because of the accident we had.
So finally at the end of June I was home for like two days which were really nice and relaxing. I spent some good quality time with fat cat. She missed me a lot this summer.
Then I went to summer school. ON the way i had lunch with my cousins who just moved to switzerland.
Then. yeah. I went to summer school. The adult workshops were really good, but summer school as a whole was a big let down.
This is basically the turning point in my summer. While the rest of my summer was in general full of anxieties and insecurities and definitly not LOVELY at all, it was definitly the most fruitfull. My understanding of my purpose at this point of my life is much clearer, but I'm still trying to figure out how to control those anxieties and insecurities. I'm trying to figure out what I could have done to prevent those feelings from coming out. I mean. This part of my summer was good, because I prayed. A LOT! and I basically did those two things (teaching and praying) which are the only things i really need to worry about, because God does the rest. Both of those are things I wasn't doing much of in June. It's kinda like, while June was lovely, I was receiving more love from God in July, which made me grow more than I have in a really long time.
and what could prepare me more than growth for my senior year?
Now I seem to have come to a point where praying is difficult. I've said the Tablet of Ahmad so many times that now when I say it it's hard to say it with the sincerity with which it demands, and it's like that for almost any other prayer too. I mean, you can't just take a break from praying. you can't be FULL of prayers. but that's how i feel. and NOW is when I need prayers more than ever.

so ...i've gotta figure out a way to end this entry. Because it's really long. Probably no one is even gonna read it because its so long.
But...yeah. I'm gonna go to the beach with Layla today. that should be festive.
I hope everyone else had a wonderful summer....okay this ending stinks. Sorry.
Im out.
Peace IN THE MIDDLE eAST
and everywhere

O HEEDLESS ONES!
Think not the secrets of hearts are hidden, nay, know ye of a certainty that in clear characters they are engraved and are openly manifest in the holy Presence.

So I definitly made the best grades this nine weeks since like.....5th grade. ALL A's and 1 B!!!!!!!
BOOOOOYAAAAAAKAAAAASHAAAAAAAA!
For some reason I still have this wierd feeling like i'm still in school. I'll probably dream about being late to an exam and failing it or something tonight. School dreams haunt me a lot during the summer. It's pretty stinky.
But dang. Guess where I don't have to go tomorrow?
ggagagagagagagagaaga
It is lovely....really. And I think i'm going to West Palm this weekend. Get to see this compadre in the pic who is soon leaving to Haifa....frowns and smiles to that. I can't lie....you all know that. I'm very happy...and a little sad....and a little anxious....and very excited to use my new inhaler at Tae kwon do tomorrow. Breathing is really fun guys, for real. I think it's my favorite thing to do, after doing impressions of Vahid of course.
The doctor I went to today is really goofy. He told me that the closer whatever we're eating is to bugs, the more healthy we are.
I don't get it. He also told me that my stomach is my brain. Now that one, I believe.

I've never actually done this before. Like actually not gone to bed on a school night in attempt to finish overwhelming amounts of homework. I have never so much lived on caffeine, except maybe for the time when I had to drive a car full of people an hour through Tennessee, in a car that wasn't mine in an area i didn't know to an airport that was very confusing. I drank a red bull that night and it had a reverse effect on me, making me sleepier. Never again. I don't think I'm gonig to drive to school today. It wouldn't be safe thats for sure. I don't need to begin to accelerate on any lights that are still red, no sir, no thank you. I really hope I finish this too. It's not turning out to be as good of a paper as I thought it would be. I guess that's just what the end of the year does to you. I'm basically burned out in all respects, soon to be revived. :)

Oh summer! Where art thou?

Way too far away, THATS for sure!

GAGAHGHAHGHAHGHAH!

Believe it or not, academically this nine weeks I think will end very pleasantly, but everything else about school is just bobo.
I'm ready for islands of adventure, utah, summer school, and project badi NOW!

School's new name is quasibobo.

Adios.